Reluctantly, The Royal Birth

Regarding the newborn… yes, that newborn. From a current affairs or writer’s perspective this a strange one, as I have absolutely zero sense of bearing on it. Am I a cynic, joining the generic ranks of people scoffing and stating the obvious that whatever its privilege, this is just another mouth for an overpopulated planet? Probably not, it seems unnecessarily mean, or at least, taking too proactive a position on it. I’m certainly not a “gusher”, one who would stand outside the hospital to weep real time manic tears of natal joy and then go on to call this the greatest day in my individual life. All I know is that it happened. At least I think it did. Vague suspicion lingers that this might be another moon landing type affair, designed to pick up the nation’s spirits, and more is the pity that the US get space exploration and we get to coo over a wee tyke who by default is doomed to have little genuine functionality or personal freedom in the name of a fading cultural institution, which by the time he is grown we might not even like anymore.

Hmm. I elicited an audible screech of horror from my grandmother last night when I explained that I neither dislike the monarchy or support them in any notable sense. I think I’m truly neutral, and this perhaps is the most controversial of positions to take on the monarchy and all familial developments therein. If you ever get stuck between the growls of a feuding monarchist and a republican, you would certainly know. If being a British subject doesn’t require you to love Queen Elizabeth and brood, it apparently requires you to take at least some strident position on the matter. But really, truly, I am oblivious. It feels stingy not to extend some sort of congratulations out to the lucky couple, much good it would do them, but… ugh, screw it. SCREW IT! Congratulations Kate and William. It does me no harm to impart that benevolent thought, other than the marginal sense of tawdriness from pretending for a fleeting moment that doing so has somehow made me a part of this. Now back to the real news.

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